The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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