He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just tell him i said nine months
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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