Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he puts the penis in happiness.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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