is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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