every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
