you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
