Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
