Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
