Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
