I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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