didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize