Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
