The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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