Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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