# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
