Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize