we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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