I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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