my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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