He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
