So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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