If that was your dad, he is hot
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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