If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize