I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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