Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
