It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
