Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize