I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
