i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
