He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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