I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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