But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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