i already hear my dad disowning me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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