i will never coherently bang her
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
