i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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