I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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