I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize