no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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