Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
