did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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