To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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