it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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