it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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