I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
