you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
