Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize