OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize