Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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