i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
