New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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