3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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