My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
