I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
