Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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