He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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