Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize