Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
