The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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